Ya’ll have seen ‘The Andy Griffith Show’, right? Well, you know Otis? The perpetual drunk who just locks himself in for the night because he knows he’s going to end up in that jail cell that night no matter what? Yeah. Him. I wouldn’t have thought I would relate to him so much. No, I haven’t started heavily drinking. But I’ve been heading back into my own jail cell a lot.

    But really. He knows that he’s only harming himself-remember the episodes where he would try to sober up so he could keep a job, etc. ? What about his physique? All that beer really shows. C’mon. Yet there he goes again. Locking himself up. Because sometimes the chains we lock ourselves up with are comfortable. Sometimes we think it’s what we want. It’s an escape. It’s a unhealthy friendship, love interest, it’s a drink,food (or lack thereof), it’s self harm,it’s our thoughts, it’s depression,self esteem,guilt,regret,whatever. It’s something we know ultimately isn’t what’s 100% the best thing for us, yet we run back to it everytime. It has a hold on us and we just can’t get away.

    Why didn’t he fight it? Why didn’t he just throw away his flask and make something of himself? I don’t know. I do know that it really is a fight though. It’s a battle and sometimes it’s just so much work to get away from it. Sometimes it’s easier to be miserable and mad at the world and God for not making life better suited to our happiness. I’m so MAD. It should not be this easy to just give up. Then I realize that some might not even see that there is hope and they do have a fighting chance. Boy, does that just make my heart shiver and my eyes well up.

   It’s getting to that point in the semester-we’re all tired, we’re all overwhelmed, we all just want someone to listen. We feel the weight of the chains;all the discouragement, drama, and just plain ol’ stuff has piled itself on us to the point where it’s easier to just lay there and let it crush us. But we don’t have to let it.

   Otis should have listened to the Reliant K song that says ‘this is how I choose to live, as if I’m jumping off a bridge, knowing that You’ll save me… that you already forgave me’. Because that’s what it takes a lot of the time. It’s being willing to step out from under the weight of the chains, throw open the cell door, and knowing that we are meant to be free. We can run a thousand miles an hour and never get tired.We can know joy and peace. We DO have hope. We’ve already been saved. We have been set free. God’s promises are bigger than our problems. His purposes are bigger than our excuses. His plans are better than our imagination. We think we know what we want. HA. I know that a lot of times what I want isn’t good for me (have you read the nutrition labels on half of what I eat?). I know that it’s trapping me when I am not meant to live under the control of confusion and frustration. The door to freedom is wide open, but it takes a LOT of courage to step outside because it is harder. It is unfamiliar. Fact is, having faith is HARD work. It’s a risk in and of itself, but it’s a crazy wonderful feeling to know that you are free and that your whole world is in His hands.

   I KNOW I am not the only one who’s been feeling this. I feel like 95% of the people I know are just barely hanging on…I know I’ve been at that point several times in the past few weeks. Here’s the nice thing though. God’s given me a lot of grace. Even when I sheepishly come out from my proverbial jail cell once again He’s welcoming me and loving me. I’ve felt so many heavenly hugs I don’t deserve. I feel this peace way down deep even when my head is swimming around in circles. It’s been reiterated to me over and over again that my screw ups don’t equal the failure of God’s plan. I’m learning to rest in that and realize just how much I can trust my Redeemer to dig me out of these holes and keep me from going back as far. Heh, some things I struggle with aren’t even ‘bad’, just going about good things without good boundaries also can have less than desirable effects on one’s heart.  I’ve said ‘we’ and ‘our’ and such a lot this post… You know if I could transfer my hope into you I would, because I have a lot of it.  I can’t force it though… We all have our own chains, I can only help untangle to a certain point. Then it’s between you and the source of hope and strength (*cough-Jesus-cough*).

   Just don’t give up. Any of you. Freedom is here for us. We have a hope. We have a future. The door is wide open. Let’s get out there and stay out this time.